The effects of living without money in a society that basically revolves around money are depressing to say the least. Just to make it clear, I am not writing these stories to make people feel sorry for me, or to gain sympathy from others. I am writing these stories because I know that there are others out there who are going through the same difficulties, and I hope maybe these stories will encourage them to share their own as well. I want others to learn from the mistakes I have made, so that if possible, they don’t repeat them in their own lives. If nothing else, than people in these difficult situations can have someone to relate to, even if I’m just some guy online with a blog. I am a real person, and I do have real feelings that have been hurt many times because of this society’s emphasis on money and materialism. Those with different views are often pushed to the outside of society, since they do not conform to the mainstream views. Those with alternative views, are called different in a negative way because they are not conforming to the narrow view that society believes they should represent. In a society that prides itself on individualism, this is a bit of a contradiction. We need more people to think outside the system, rather than just live within it.
I have never had a real girlfriend, and money is part of the problem. I will not say that money is the whole problem because there are some women out there who care about more than money in a relationship, and I respect those women greatly. There is so much materialism and commercialism thrown at people from the media and even present in our everyday lives. I applaud such women for realizing that money is not what defines a relationship, what defines a relationship is the connection and bond you form with another human being. When you truly love someone, money should not matter at all. Unfortunately, like I have stated before, it is basically impossible to do anything in this society without at least having a little money. The more money that a person has, the more things they can do. I had a few girlfriends in high school and college, but I don’t consider those real relationships since students in high school and college are immature (i was as well) and I never felt truly connected or loved by any of them, but it was high school and college so that was to be expected . I have never felt truly wanted or desired by a woman (speaking in terms of a relationship) in my life. I had a chance to spend 3 years of my life at a college where I probably would have met a lot of women, but I didn’t desire to meet women at college parties where their inhibitions were already lowered, and it was also too expensive for me to justify the cost. Remember I don’t have any money or a job, and I didn’t back then either. Perhaps that’s why I felt so out of place amongst all the rich students that attended that college.
I know that money is not everything in a relationship, but it’s almost a requirement these days. Money helps you travel to other places so you can meet different types of people, which I cannot do at this time. Money also enables a person to go out and do things in the world, which women like, but which I also cannot do at this time since I am poor. It is true that money is power in this world. The life of a poor 22 year old man is not exciting or interesting, it is about staying at the same place most of the time, and not really doing much with my life. It is about sitting at home, applying to hundreds of jobs and only hearing back from 5%, probably even less than that. The life of a poor 22 year old man who went to college is fraught with anxiety because I have a debt hanging over my head, and I know how cruel and cold people will be to get their money. How can a person take anything from someone who literally has nothing? I guess we will find out soon.
This entire situation and the way that many people seem to just go about their lives in this society without a care in the world for others depresses me so I try not to think about it much. There are times when I just want to burst into tears, but I have no one to express my emotions to. I know there are people out there who believe that men should not express any emotions, but come on, I am a dynamic living being who has feelings just like everyone else. I am not going to hide the way I feel because of some idiotic stereotype that is totally not based in reality at all. Real men feel a range of emotions, just like all other humans, and express the way they feel at an appropriate time. I actually am surprisingly happy most of the time, but then when I remember the situation that I am in, things start to become sad again. I guess what I’m trying to say is that even though things are sad and frustrating in my life, I still can find happiness and hope in each day. It is not always easy, but it’s the only way I can live my life, and I refuse to give up because I know that there is someone out there for me who feels the same way. I know there are good people out in the world, who donate to charity, who do things for their community, who try to help others, and I would like to personally thank all of you. You are the people who give me hope during dark times, and without your kindness and resolve I would not have much hope in this world.
I also don’t have many friends in this world, I actually only have 1 to be honest. I suppose it is better to have one than none, but I am a good person and I believe there were many missed connections that I could have formed with other people. Those who base their entire lives around money, I do not want their friendship anyways, but I am sure that I have missed opportunities to be friends with people because I stay in the same town all the time. I hope that I am not making people too sad when they read this, but these are the raw true emotions that I feel every day of my life.
I dropped out of high school in 11th grade, not because I wasn’t a smart or good student, but because I didn’t feel any true connections with most people in high school, and also I wasn’t really learning anything. I say most people because the one friend I have left I made in high school, so I can’t say that I did not gain anything valuable. But I did sacrifice a lot of my time and energy on an institution that I was really just a number in. I actually wished I had dropped out earlier, I was just not happy in high school because of what I saw, and how I felt. I was just repeating information that I was told. I only truly began to learn about life when I left high school. I did get my GED and went onto college, but if you’ve read my previous posts I believe that going to college was my biggest mistake in my life. Getting a GED is a good idea for anyone who leaves high school because sadly there will not be many opportunities for you in life without one. I feel like I am discriminated against in my job search because I dropped out of high school, got my GED, and don’t have much work experience, but I’m only 22.
How does someone in the top rankings of their class in high school become like this? I can tell you how, because I started to question the world and what things really meant. I started to question why things really were the way they were, and I realized that it all leads back to the government (the organization that prints money by the way) in this country. Students are taught to be obedient to any authority in high school, even if that authority is corrupt. Students are told not to question why things are the way they are, rather they are distracted by pointless analysis of literary texts and they are “taught” about messages that the author never even put in their books. Math is important up to certain point, people should know how to do their own finances, but more complex math really isn’t useful to everyone in every day life, unless they work in that field. Science is important as well, but it’s always changing, so the information that students learn might actually be proven false a few years later. Social studies is important to understand the world, but one can gain a better understanding of the world and its cultures by going online and doing their own research. Not to mention that school textbooks are basically american propaganda, but don’t question that or you’ll be thrown out of class.
That particular situation never happened to me, but I’m sure if I started to question why they left certain things out of history books and wrote them to conform to the view that they wanted people to have, I would not be looked favorably upon. Like I said, students are not told to question things, rather they are taught to accept them as fact, and memorize them so they don’t know any different. It is quite a horrid way of “learning” if you can even call it that, and at one point I decided that I had had enough of it. Not to mention the other students who really didn’t care about anyone except in their own group of friends and I was left with a feeling of alienation and isolation that still persists today. Thankfully, I have been working on improving myself as an individual all of these years, so I am a much more positive person now.
While other students just blindly accepted and obeyed every command and lesson, I decided that I had enough and had to escape from the government’s corrupt daycare institution, where students were basically treated more like prisoners than actual human beings with thoughts and feelings of their own. Shame on the education system in this country, you have failed many generations. I am not blaming the teachers because they are just part of the system, and some of them are good people, but those who created this “educational” system and made every teacher and student follow their plans, those are the ones to blame. I suspect they will never be held accountable for their actions because they would claim they did what they thought was best for the children, which is always one of those excuses you can’t argue with.
I have my opinion as a student, or to put it more correctly, just another cog in their system, and they have their brainwashed view of the world that America is the best country in the world and none of them have done anything wrong. They are some of the worst people on this earth because they would always say it was the fault of the students for not wanting to learn, rather than them who just taught students to repeat everything and they will be all set in life. i did want to learn actually, but not in the ignorant way they forced me to. I have learned so much since leaving high school that I wonder if schools are designed to weed out the critical thinkers, and those who question the values of society. God has been watching this whole time, and their actions already speak volumes, so I will say no more because their judgement is to be decided by a higher power and not myself. I am simply giving my feelings as to what I experienced, and I know that I’m not the only one who feels this way either. I pray that the future generations of children in this country will not have to suffer through the same style of “learning” that involves mindless repetition and unquestioning obedience to authority, but if things do not change, then the same cycle will repeat for them as well.